Tom Daley’s glittering performance makes a trip to a leisure centre pool feel all the more bleak, but fish save the week
How long into the opening ceremony did you last? I got as far as the living statues of famous feminists rising out of the Seine before getting up and drifting away. There was entertainment value in watching the caravan of shivering, poncho-clad athletes being conveyed down the river in the rain. And the phrase, delivered deadpan by a BBC commentator: “There’s Andy Murray on a barge”, was a keeper. But for the most part France’s whimsical reinvention of the Olympic opening ceremony was as flat as a crepe.