I am well off, but have never been able to enjoy it. This summer, I’ll change my relationship with money | Lola Mendez

I am well off, but have never been able to enjoy it. This summer, I’ll change my relationship with money | Lola Mendez

Wage dysmorphia is common among those who, like me, have developed a scarcity mindset – but it stops us from thriving

Recently, for the first time in my life, I paid to upgrade myself to business class on a flight. It felt exhilarating to spend money frivolously and treat myself to a more comfortable flight. It was decadent, and worth every penny.

The upgrade was $180 (£139) and I could have afforded it even if it had been $1,000, but I struggle to justify that kind of expense. As a freelance journalist I usually make between $30,000 and $55,000 a year, and I’ve managed to save over six figures. Still, I’ve struggled with a lifelong sense of financial insecurity. I know the way I perceive my situation isn’t aligned with reality, that it’s something people call wage dysmorphia. The good thing about living this way is that I’ve been able to save. But I remain trapped in a mindset driven by fear of scarcity.

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