Last week I laid down on the floor inside of the Swing Space chanting, “Don’t balance the budget on our backs. No podemos equilibrar el presupuesto sobre las espaldas de los sobrevivientes.” I was wearing a red shirt to symbolize the blood California will have on its hands should it choose not to fund crime victim services.
I am a survivor of sexual and domestic violence. I was held hostage, beaten, raped, tortured, and shot. I was induced into a coma to save the little chance I had to live. Upon my arrival at the hospital, I was pronounced dead, but God had other plans for me. I was left in a wheelchair for almost a year. I had to face the whys.
Why me? What did I do? Why did I fight that night if I’m here still suffering? It was too much for me to deal with alone and I became suicidal. This not only affected me but my family. I then decided to look for help.
If rape crisis centers didn’t exist, I would have never been able to tell my story. I thank all the advocates and other service providers who were involved in my healing journey. They helped me in many ways. I was able to get counseling, focus on my recovery and not so much on the whys, and stop blaming myself. They helped me recover my worth and my self-esteem.
The staff at the rape crisis center lifted me from the ground where I was left to die. I had an advocate accompany me during the court process and having her next to me made me feel safe and not alone. She answered all of my questions and reassured me that she would be by my side every step of the way. Without support from that advocate and others like her involved in my case, I would have never been able to overcome the horrific violence I experienced.
When I learned that California crime victim services are facing a 45% cut to federal Victims of Crime Act (VOCA)funding, I couldn’t help but think about how my life would have turned out if I didn’t have support during my healing journey. VOCA is California’s largest and only funding source that supports survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, human trafficking, child abuse, elder abuse, and so many others.
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These funds allow survivors ample access to counseling, safe housing, legal support, and court accompaniment. As the California Legislature begins to wrap up its budget cycle, my eyes are on Governor Newsom as he prepares to unveil his June final budget. During a record budget deficit year, there is no doubt that tough decisions must be made, but they should not be made on the backs of survivors.
The California Assembly and Senate released their Joint Legislative Budget Proposal on May 29th and included $103 million (p. 138) in ongoing funding for crime victim services. Now, the responsibility falls on Governor Newsom. For the past 11 months, we’ve waited and waited for our state leaders to step up and say they care about survivors. But when my abuser held a shotgun to my head, I had no time to wait. I am not begging Governor Newsom to support survivors. I did enough begging before I was shot. Today I’m demanding that he support survivors.
Elvira Herrera is a survivor of sexual assault, domestic violence, human trafficking and the daughter of farmworkers. She is the Violence Against Women Program Coordinator for Líderes Campesinas, a statewide network of powerful advocates based in sixteen farm working communities that advance the rights of women and their families.
