Lily Allen has reflected on her days of addiction, remembering that when she was on cocaine, “you think all of your ideas are brilliant and need to be shared”.
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The popstar and actor was speaking to The Guardian in a joint interview with Miquita Oliver about their shared podcast Miss Me?.
In it, she discussed her five years of sobriety and her settled life in Brooklyn, New York with her husband, the Black Widow actor David Harbour, and her two kids, Ethel and Marnie.
“I’m a much more connected and present parent, which is amazing,” she said, about her life without drugs or alcohol. “I got a text from Ethel yesterday and she was very clear: these are the things I’m feeling, I’m sad, I’m upset because of this. And I was, Oh my God, I’m winning at life! She’s naming her emotions and she’s asking me for help. My relationship with my kids specifically is much better since I got sober.”
Lily Allen performs live. CREDIT: Joseph Okpako/WireImage/Getty
Looking back at her younger self, she reflected on the reasons why she was attracted to class A drugs.
“Drugs and alcohol were very good at drowning out my inner critic,” she said. “When you take cocaine you think all of your ideas are brilliant and need to be shared.”
Allen has been open about her struggles with addiction in the past, particularly when she detailed her alcohol and drug abuse in 2020 memoir My Thoughts Exactly. According to an interview in 2023, the last time she consumed alcohol was on July 28, 2019, adding “my life has changed so much”.
Earlier this year, she said that she “stands to lose everything” if she drinks again, while also recalling the time that she was once banned for a year from the Soho club Groucho’s.
In the new interview, she went on to talk about what she now has to live without as a sober person.
“I can really miss those extreme highs,” she said, “Like, I miss being on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury and rushing my tits off. I know that I will never experience that again, and there’s a sadness that comes with that. But I am level. I’m no longer having really terrible, long periods of time of absolute despair.”
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Allen also discussed her new music and prospects of releasing another studio record.
“I have about 100 of them!” she said about the songs she has written so far, but it is noted that she “doesn’t feel they’re any good”, and it is thought she is “calling time” on that aspect of her career for the time being.
In April, she had spoken on the podcast about writing and recording new music in Nashville, which she described as an “intimidating” atmosphere, given its rich musical history. She had also previously said she had around 50 songs written for a new album, which would be her first since 2018’s ‘No Shame’.
Besides music, Allen has also forged a name for herself in acting in recent years – both onstage and on screen. She made her theatre debut in the 2021 play 2:22 A Ghost Story, followed by last year’s The Pillowman. On-screen, she has appeared as Elizabeth Taylor in the 2019 film How To Build A Girl and as Mel in the 2023 comedy series Dreamland.
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