My daughter took her own life, and I can’t face talking to

Listening to people who have been through what you’re going through might help you to open up
• Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a problem sent in by a reader

A year ago I lost my beautiful daughter, 21, to suicide. It was totally unexpected, and from the outside she appeared to be a normal, kind and happy young woman. We knew she had some anxieties about life and direction, but we never dreamed it was causing her so much pain. She did it while I was in the house, and I discovered her. I tried but could not save her.

I struggle to control my grief. I would join her in an instant, but I need to be here to support my wife and my family, who are equally in pain. I wake regularly with nightmares of that day. My mood is generally OK, but I know I put on an act in front of people to get through the day, and I go to work to distract myself. I sometimes want to scream at people to tell them what I’m feeling, but I can’t. If I didn’t remain calm and try to act normal, I would simply break down and cry and, I think, preferably die.