My two-year-old can’t even say her own name, but she’s

Somehow she managed to order the pay-per-view fight between Tyson Fury and Oleksandr Usyk

I got the notification while cutting strawberries for my two-year-old daughter. It said that £25 had been taken from my Amazon account for ‘TVOD’. This suggested the purchase of some TV On Demand programming, albeit a very expensive unit of same.

I immediately presumed my wife had made the purchase via our shared account, but since this was 11am and she was visiting a friend in Berlin, it suggested her trip had taken a turn toward boredom that I found at least mildly alarming.