Tice and Farage, the happy couple wedded to migration

Our Nige at least manages to sound slightly plausible while talking utter rubbish

It’s not hard to pick out where the power lies at any Reform party event. Just check out the middle-aged men with a tan. Richard Tice, Nigel Farage and David Bull all look like they’ve spent a suspiciously long time on the sunbed. Or maybe they’ve got a bulk offer on spray tan. Either way, you have to blink several times when you see them in the flesh. The glare is oppressive. Welcome to the party with heavy 1970s Benidorm vibes.

Nigel Farage had insisted that when he first booked Glaziers Hall near London Bridge, it had been to announce that he was planning to stand as a candidate in the election. Like a lot of things Our Nige says, this may be wishful thinking. Or a straight porky. Check out the timings. Rishi Sunak calls a general election last Wednesday. Nige books the room the next day. All set to go. Then changes his mind within days. Mmm. Maybe not.