Why is it so hard to take a break from work – even if we want to?

It is essential to slow down the nervous system to become calm, but there can be several obstacles to self-care

At the busy hospital where I worked, we were entitled to two 15-minute breaks – morning and afternoon – and a 30-minute lunch.

I skipped breaks (there’s always something to get done, right?) and I nearly always ate my lunch in front of my computer. Same story for most of my co-workers. When I talk to other helping professionals, caregivers or activists, I hear a similar pattern of overwork.

Societal: oppression can mean that many of us work twice as hard for less recognition. Plus, internalized capitalism encourages us to overwork.

Institutional: the employer gave mixed messages, communicating support for work-life balance, but rewarding overwork.

Physical: the more my sympathetic nervous system revved up, the harder it was to slow down. This made it hard for me to calmly reflect on my situation.

Skills-based: I needed to learn to set boundaries.

Belief-based: I thought it was noble to deny my own needs. I couldn’t give
myself permission to take breaks.

Trauma-based: one of my childhood adaptations to trauma is to over-function. For a long time, I felt like an imposter at my job, so I overcompensated.

Vicarious trauma: I was experiencing a lot of it at that job, which made it difficult to manage my emotions or notice my needs.

Emotions-based: overworking was a maladaptive way to cope with hard feelings such as fear, despair and helplessness that were triggered by my work and a difficult personal relationship.

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