‘You can’t manifest the birth you want’: the reality

Self-help books and wellness culture celebrate the individual overcoming adversity. It sounds empowering – but you can’t think your way out of a broken system

There are two visions of childbirth that dominate the popular conversation. The first perspective is that unmedicated, natural birth is painful, scary, dangerous – even primitive. According to this way of thinking, to counteract the pain and danger of childbirth, we need to throw everything we can at it. Modern medicine delivered in a hospital – inductions, epidurals, C-sections – ensures the safety and often survival of babies and their mothers. Anything less is dangerous and irresponsible.

The other perspective: birth is a natural, physiological event; if there’s anything to be feared, it’s not labor and birth, but the consequences of messing with nature. This version of birth has many patron saints, among whom the midwife and author Ina May Gaskin may be the best known. According to this perspective, birth isn’t about getting eaten by a dragon; birth is about becoming the dragon, relishing the fullness of the embodied experience.