(AP Photo/Matt Slocum, File)
THE CAMERA SWEEPS over a spreadsheet tallying billions of dollars. The image DISSOLVES to piles of $100 bills, pulls in tight on Benjamin Franklin’s slightly sour expression, then fades to black.
“Have you ever seen a patchwork quilt?” coos the narrator’s soothing voice as a MAP OF CALIFORNIA comes into view. “That’s when one piece of fabric overlaps the next, which overlaps the next, which overlaps the next. Critics of California’s special districts have likened them to a patchwork quilt because they exist inside city and county governments that could do their jobs — delivering water, treating sewage, killing mosquitoes, operating cemeteries and the like — thus eliminating an often-invisible and arguably redundant layer of local government.”
OK, OK, we are not in high school and we certainly would not have won the “Districts Make the Difference” student video contest sponsored by the National Special Districts Association and helmed by the California Special Districts Association. Two of the three winners are from California, though (a Cupertino kid won $2,000, a San Marcos kid won $1,000 and a Montana kid won $500). One of the Top 10 finalists is from Irvine. Congratulations!
Their videos celebrate the pixie dust sprinkled by special districts over our governmental garden. There was a cute dog riding a bus extolling the transportation district’s charms, some jazzy special effects touting the respite offered by the park district, and the cartoon sweetness of a little girl proclaiming “Special districts are really special!”
How special, though, really?
California has one state government, 58 counties, 482 cities, 939 school districts and more than 2,000 independent special districts. If any of the student filmmakers was wondering, “Hmmm, don’t we also have a city that runs parks?” or “Doesn’t the county operate an extensive library system? Why do we need a separate library district, too?” or “We actually have separate governments to run cemeteries and other governments to deal with rats and mosquitoes?!”, well, those questions didn’t make it into the final cuts.
The one-minute films actually sounded an awful lot like commercials. So we started daydreaming about what our one-minute special district video would be like.
Our movie
CUT TO JOHN OLIVER’S classic “Special Districts” segment of “Last Week Tonight.”
“Our main story tonight concerns government: Sports for nerds,” Oliver says.
CUT TO EXPERT, who says special districts are the most common form of local government and take in about $100 billion a year nationally (a very old number — California’s special districts rake in nearly that much all by themselves).
CUT BACK TO AN ASTONISHED OLIVER. “That’s crazy!” Oliver says. “It’s like finding out the highest-paid athlete in the world is Harold. I mean, who the (expletive) is Harold? What sport does he play? Why don’t people talk about this all the time?! How am I only hearing about Harold now? You’re making me feel a fool!”
CUT TO A RIDER ON HORSEBACK, silhouetted black against a blazing orange sun.
“Special districts were born in California’s Wild Wild West, back before there were city or county governments to provide essential services,” our narrator intones as SKYSCRAPERS and SUBDIVISIONS pop up on the California map. “But once cities and counties sprouted all around them, special districts did not go away.
“While critics have called them ‘ghost governments’ and myriad grand juries have called for their consolidation or elimination, special districts persist, saying they’re zealous guardians of water, sewer, transportation systems and the like. The billions of dollars they’ve amassed to build, repair and replace vital infrastructure could easily be squandered in the hands of reckless counties and city councils, who might cave to competing interests and lavish those dollars on less-worthy pursuits. The focus of a special district is singular and pure, they say.”
WATER BILLS and SEWER BILLS flutter by the camera lens. “The vagaries of Proposition 13 mean a lot of them have gob-loads of money because they get property tax dollars as well as fees for service!” our honey-voiced narrator would enthuse.
“In 2013, California’s special districts collected $41 billion in fees for service and property taxes, and spent $40.8 billion, according to data from the state controller.
“Ten years later, special districts collected $90.5 billion and spent $83.9 billion. That’s an increase of more than 100%, while inflation increased just 27% over that period.”
Our film would also tell you that the gob-loads of money special districts amass has raised so many eyebrows, for so long, that the Legislature requires the 250 biggest to report their finances separately.
This reporting was prompted by a good-government watchdog group called the Little Hoover Commission, which sputtered over special district reserve funds that dwarfed their annual spending. That blistering study, “Special Districts: Relics of the Past or Resources for the Future?” bemoaned hospital districts that no longer run hospitals but continue to exist and collect taxes anyway, and chided Local Agency Formation Commissions — one in every county, charged with ensuring government efficiency — for being unable or unwilling to make sensible mergers happen.
We’d tell you that the state’s largest 250 special districts had cash and investments of $25.8 billion in 2013 — and of $63.8 billion in 2022.
“Whoa!” our honey-voiced narrator says.
Pay and perks
Kids from Orange County explore an OCFA fire engine in 2019. (Photo by Paul Rodriguez, Contributing Photographer)
CUT TO WATER DISTRICT WORKERS digging trenches for new water lines, interspersed with SEWER DISTRICT WORKERS shoveling “cake” — the solid gunk left over after wastewater is treated.
“And special districts employ a lot of people, too!” our narrator continues. “While there were 149,567 employee positions in 2013, with total compensation of $9.7 billion, the employee count grew to 176,702 positions with total comp of $15 billion a decade later.”
We’d tell you that 11 of those special district employees made total compensation (pay and perks) of more than $1 million a year, and all of them were in health care-related positions.
Statewide, they were led by the CEO of the Palomar Health District in San Diego County, with total comp of $1.8 million; doctors with the Kern County Hospital Authority, earning $1.5 million, $1.6 million and $1.7 million in total comp; the CEO of the Salinas Valley Memorial Healthcare District, with total comp of $1.4 million; and the CEO of the Beta Healthcare Group Risk Management Authority, with total comp of $1.2 million.
CUT TO FIREFIGHTERS washing a truck.
In Orange County, the Orange County Fire Authority dominates the top of the list, as public safety perks are expensive and firefighters rack up a lot of overtime. The five highest special district earners were the CEO of the Orange County Transportation Authority, with total comp of $608,439; the Orange County Fire Authority’s chief, with total comp of $529,939; an OCFA fire captain, with total comp of $526,172; another OCFA fire captain, with total comp of $522,172; and an Orange County Transportation Authority deputy CEO, with total comp of $512,164.
In Los Angeles County, the top five were a more varied bunch. No. 1 was the CEO of the Antelope Valley Healthcare District, with total comp of $806,326; CEO of the Alliance of Schools For Cooperative Insurance Programs, with total comp of $648,441; the assistant chief engineer/assistant general manager of the Los Angeles County Sanitation District No. 2, with total comp of $613,813; Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority’s CEO, with total comp of $548,992; and the Foothill Transit Administration’s CEO, with total comp of $534,554.
CUT TO TREE-LINED PALM CANYON DRIVE.
In Riverside County, the highest-comped worker was the CEO of Visit Greater Palm Springs, at $762,224; the chief of the Idyllwild Fire Protection District, at $498,023; the general manager of the Eastern Municipal Water District, at $495,501; the Coachella Valley Water District’s general manager, at $494,934; and the Coachella Valley Water District’s assistant general manager, at $461,656.
In San Bernardino County, all the highest-compensated special district jobs were with the Inland Empire Health Plan, where the top five officers had total comp of $917,222; $741,007; $700,341; $687,843; and $638,620.
Crazy quilt
One of the 39 firefighter quilts that members of the Laguna Woods Crazy Quilters Guild made. (Photo by Penny E. Schwartz)
CUT BACK TO JOHN OLIVER. “It’s a little weird, in a country that talks so much about government accountability, that a huge amount of our tax dollars go to fund entities that most of us know absolutely nothing about,” Oliver says.
He does credit California for making special district operations more transparent. Our honey-voiced narrator suggests that’s not making much difference.
CUT TO SWIRLING NEWSPAPER, THEN TIGHT ON HEADLINE: “Crazy quilt of overlapping governments is no laughing matter. Column: Too many water districts? There’s an agency for that. It faces huge headwinds trying to make local government logical.”
The narrator quotes a droll Bob Braitman, retired Local Agency Formation Commission executive in many California counties: “Believe it or not, special districts sometimes don’t want to consolidate. If you look it up in your dictionary, it’s something called ‘parochialism.’ Sometimes they pay their board of directors’ members a stipend. Sometimes the directors don’t want to give up that stipend, or the status that goes with it. Sometimes they’re opposed even if it would be logical. Sometimes.”
CUT TO OLIVER. “They’re like Styrofoam packing peanuts … they’ll be with us ’til the end of time,” he says.
Our honey-voiced narrator wraps up by congratulating the high school students on their videos — each won $500 for teachers at their schools, for a total of $5,000 in special district prize money — and expresses hope that the students remain involved in their communities, civically engaged with their local governments, and develop a healthy skepticism of PR spin.
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