If you are lucky, every once in a while, you come across a book which grabs you by the lapels and either shakes the fear of God into you or shakes repressed memories out of your mind to remind you first, how blessed you are, and second, not to forget the lessons life pounded into you.
Recently, while watching “Fox & Friends,” I came across just such a book. I watched Brian Kilmeade interview author Tim Murtaugh about going from riding the bench in a drunk tank in jail to riding aboard Air Force One as director of communications for the Trump 2020 presidential campaign. Murtaugh spoke a line which blasted some repressed memories back to the forefront of my mind. Those words being: “I have two little boys, ages 5 and 7, and they have never seen their father take a drink, and I am very proud of that.”
I literally stopped what I was doing, got the book – “Swing Hard in Case You Hit It” – and read it in one sitting. Murtaugh’s story spoke to me so deeply because I was the polar opposite when it came to seeing my dad take a drink. That’s all I ever saw.
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For my entire childhood, my father and mother were highly dysfunctional alcoholics. Their massive dysfunction and selfishness destroyed the childhoods of myself, my brother Jay, and my sister Janice. By the time I was 17 years of age, we had been evicted from 34 homes. Homelessness was the norm for us.
Because of that life and those experiences, I have spoken to a number of students over the years. The one bit of advice I always tried to leave them with being: “Don’t let the person in the mirror become your No. 1 enemy in life.”
Like a great many alcoholics and addicts, Murtaugh let that reflection destroy his life, his relationships and his career prospects. Come 2015, Murtaugh was still on probation for the second of his two convictions for driving under the influence when the person in the mirror struck again. He got drunk, got caught, and was suddenly looking at nearly three months in jail. Worse than that, he was on the verge of alienating the love of his life while ending any chance of a future career.
We all have heard about people needing to “hit rock bottom” before they turn their lives around. Well, guess what? Some people never hit rock bottom. My parents never did. They continued on in their irresponsible and self-destructive ways until the individuals in their mirrors ended their lives.
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It often takes great strength, courage and moral awareness to realize one has hit rock bottom and then catapult oneself back into some semblance of normalcy and sobriety. Murtaugh was able to do that. Faced with losing everything, he stopped drinking on May 16, 2015. But more than stopping drinking, he saved his marriage, and most likely saved his own life.
Murtaugh was able to stare down the “enemy” in the mirror, win the blinking contest, and wrest control of his life and future back from a man whose hobby was “blackout drunk” self-destruction. A feat most fail to accomplish.
Murtaugh is also a very gifted storyteller. It does not matter how great the tale of rediscovery and redemption is if you can’t get people to turn the page. Because of his talent as a wordsmith, the author is able to weave in self-deprecation and humor precisely at the right moments to make his often-heartbreaking tale all the more human and relatable.
I confess that I have never been a fan of academics or solutions to life’s problems handed down by those who exist upon ivory towers. I have always been a much bigger believer in the power and value of real-life experience and searching out those who overcame life’s cruelties and inner demons on their own.
Murtaugh is one of those people. His story is worth reading. His life lessons learned will help others facing the “enemy” in the mirror.
