The menu at El Criollo Cuban Bar & Grill has sections dedicated to beef, pork and seafood. But time and again, when I drop there for a post-Costco shopping meal, it’s the chicken section I head for.
This is a fine tribute to the joys of Cuban chicken, since sitting in my trunk is a $4.99 rotisserie chicken from Costco, which I buy whether I actually need it or not; it’s a tradition well-respected by pretty much everyone who shops there. But still, I love the chicken at El Criollo — especially the pollo asado (half a roast chicken topped with lemon and garlic sauce and sliced onions).
Of course, I’ve got no fight to pick with the pollo Criollo, which is the same half chicken, only in this case, the sauce is lemon and mustard. Or the fricassee de pollo, in a wine sauce. And the pollo en salsa de ajo in a sauce of white wine and garlic. There’s a boneless pechuga de pollo a la plancha. And the pollo saltado is sautéed with french fries and onions. How about that!
I love the beef ropa vieja, but it’s chicken that I dream about. The Cuban understanding of chicken is something to behold.
The pollo asado is a dish that’s not just made with garlic — it’s the embodiment of garlic incarnate. Eat this dish, and only others who have indulged will be willing to kiss you … for days.
If you’re especially hungry — and I mean hungry to the point where you’re ready to go up against Joey Chestnut eating hot dogs — you might consider preceding your chicken with an appetizer; they’re as iconic as the chicken.
Especially the croquetas de jamón (ham fritters), the yellow corn pork tamale, and crispy chunks of pork (masitas) — served with the garlic and lemon sauce. When in doubt, douse with garlic and lemon. It’s not just good, it’s magical. It’s to Cuban cooking what ketchup is to America. When in doubt…
Actually, aside from being a cuisine with an admirable mastery of chicken, an assortment of the appetizers would make for a fine feed. The ground beef empanadas are never anything less than crispy. The papas rellenas de carne — potato balls stuffed with ground beef — transcend most any preparation of tater tots (even tater tots topped with chili, which is great sports bar chow).
If you can’t make up your mind, consider the plato surtido — four papas rellenas, four croquetas, two empanadas. It’s a meal not just for one, but for two.
The setting at El Criollo does a good job of feeling like a Cuban cantina — or at least, as close as we can get in a mini-mall, with a view of a Costco across the street. There are venerable posters on the walls for legendary Cuban cigar brands like Partagas and H. Upmann. There’s a great photograph of a bongo drummer’s fingers wrapped in bandages — eight bandages on four fingers — to help chill the sound. There’s other artwork — a man in one, a woman in the other. He’s wearing an old school hat. She’s wearing … a barely there dress.
Me, I’m wearing jeans, as I consider how I’ve long been a huge fan of Cuban salads, which are the exact inverse of American salads. Where we like our salads to be maximized — in the U.S., more is good, and even more is even better — there’s a fascinating understatement in the salads of Cuba.
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The avocado salad (ensalada de aguacate) is nothing more than perfectly ripe slices of buttery Hass avocado, topped with sliced raw onions, flavored with salt and pepper, moistened with oil and vinegar. So simple. And so fabulous. The lettuce and tomato salad (ensalada verde) is the same thing, only you get tomato instead of avocado.
Even the Caesar salad (Caesar Criollo) is a relatively simple mix — avocado, romaine green plantain in a Caesar dressing with grated parmesan. And that’s all she wrote.
My general, totally non-scientific, statistically doubtful estimate is that chicken, in its various incarnations, is what most diners get at our sundry Cuban restaurants. Certainly, it’s what I get most of the time. And for good reason — every bite is just about the best thing you’ve ever eaten in your entire life.
The chicken is marinated in what seems to be the very essence of garlic and lemon juice. The bird is so tender, it falls apart with a glance. It’s so juicy you have to wear a bib to keep it off your clothing. Even the bones are soft — you can bite right into them and suck out the tender sweet marrow.
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But, it’s my job to order something other than the lemon-garlic chicken every now and then. (And anyway, since everyone else at my table will probably have ordered the chicken, I know I can always grab a thigh with impunity.)
If I’m going to get something else, it will probably be the Cuban-style roast pork — lechon asado. There’s much to recommend about the roast pork. It’s both tender and crunchy at the same time, which is no small trick.
There are few cultures that do pork better than Cuban. Along with the lechon asado, there are fried pork chunks (macitas de puerco fritas) which are so crunchy, they’re on the edge of turning into chicharrones — all crackle and flavor. There’s grilled pork chops, too (chuletas a la plancha). Topped with onions. Just because.
Just about every dish comes with white rice and black beans; mixed together, they’re “moros y cristianos.” The sandwich Cubano (ham, pork and Swiss) is a worthy object of desire. But it’s still not the chicken. The flan is fabulous — but the chicken is even more, let’s say, fabulouser. For me, bird is the word.
Merrill Shindler is a Los Angeles-based freelance dining critic. Email mreats@aol.com.
El Criollo Cuban Bar & Grill
Rating: 2.5
Address: Burbank Terrace, 916 W. Burbank Blvd., Burbank
Information: 818-260-0211, www.instagram.com/elcriollola
Cuisine: Cuban
When: Lunch and dinner, Tuesday through Sunday
Details: Full bar; reservations helpful
Atmosphere: Directly across from a massive Costco, this casual Cuban spot in a busy mini-mall, is a fine spot to stop for a post-shopping pisco sour, along with some empanadas, and a tasty plate of garlic chicken.
Prices: About $30 per person
On the menu: 6 Appetizers ($6-$19.50), 3 Salads ($6.50-$15.50), 3 Vegetarian Plates ($12.95-$16.95), 2 Sandwiches ($13.95-$14.95), 6 Beef Entrées ($16.95-$24.95), 3 Pork Entrées ($16.95-$18.95), 3 Seafood Entrées ($17.95), 6 Chicken Entrées ($16.95-$18.95)
Credit cards: MC, V
What the stars mean: 4 (World class! Worth a trip from anywhere!), 3 (Most excellent, even exceptional. Worth a trip from anywhere in Southern California.), 2 (A good place to go for a meal. Worth a trip from anywhere in the neighborhood.) 1 (If you’re hungry, and it’s nearby, but don’t get stuck in traffic going.) 0 (Honestly, not worth writing about.)
