It’s not a petty problem, says Philippa Perry, because your feelings matter
The question My partner of three years is a kind, emotionally intelligent, interesting and handsome man. We are in our early 30s, which is possibly too old for the petty problem I am about to come to you with… He is always staring at other women! Whenever we are out and there are attractive women nearby, he will take a good look or worse, keep staring at them while we’re in a pub or something. Meanwhile, our conversation starts to dry up, because his focus is elsewhere.
I understand this is something that men do and have no problem with him doing so when I’m not there. Our relationship is long-distance, so the problem for me is more that he doesn’t think to put this on pause on the occasions we can be together, that I might notice or be upset by it, let alone that I’ve put a lot of work into looking nice for him. I don’t think he would cheat on me, but knowing that men are visual creatures and I am clearly not up to his standards in this department, makes me feel vulnerable to this possibility.
